i love opposable thumbs

i'm watching my cat give himself a bath...i can't imagine having to lick myself clean everyday.

Zephyr Cafe

My favorite go-to cafe in SF. Here is why:

1) Jen. She worked there and gave me free cookies :)
2) Neighborhood. Nearby with do-able parking.
3) Wifi...ok so you have to pay $5, but I didn't really need internet
4) Spacious. Always a table free, though sometimes only in the dark back area
5) WEIRD. Creepy mannequin...
6) My mom goes here with her friends too.

he was lost...and then found, then lost again, then found.

this is the story of when we lost buddy the cat:

yes, for this semester i have a cat. my brother is touring the world so my roomies and i are taking care of buddy til he gets back. but for some reason when our apt manager asked if she could use our apartment to show to prospective tenants, minna forgot about the fluffy fatty and said, "ya sure!" so wednesday night we had to take him to ernie's place (dani's bf). the sight of his little cage freaks him out, so buddy fights to his best ability to stay out of it. and it works. dani decides to carry him down to the car. but as she's about to close the door, he jumps out of the car and THERE HE GOES! OH CRAP!

i was at small group and saw that i had 5 missed calls. dashed home to look for buddy, and on the way, joyce calls me and asks, "what color is your cat?" i speed over to her house, but the second i look at this cat she's got cornered, i know it's not buddy. you see, buddy is a fatty fat cat. threee times the size of bettina's little dog whose head is too big for its body. defeated, i go home and continue to look but with no luck. leave a bunch of food and his litter box outside and we print out fliers with buddy's picture and our contact info and post them up and down the street.

the next day around 2pm, minna gets a call that this dude saw him around 9am this morning! oh there is hope! look around, but it's the afternoon so he's probably hiding somewhere. the next morning i go wait outside and put more food out, but there's not a sign of him. he hasn't even eaten the food :/

friday night i'm in large group, but when i get out i see 10 missed calls. "DID YOU FIND HIM?? oh please tell me you found him..." they did! in the basement of the house that caught fire last semester and is abandoned. but then...

they coax him out of the part under the house by calling his name and bringing him food. but then for some bizarre reason, they decided to carry him back to the house. but...that's how he got away the first time no? a loud BANG and he bites down on dani's hand, she hands him to eunice, he bites down on her hand, and then finally squirms his way free and darts. both of them are dripping blood :/

their hands get infected and they spend saturday night at the emergency room to get antibiotics.

try again. we leave food for him and but we're never there when he's eating it. finally on monday dani sees him in there and we trap him inside. but we can't get to him cuz he's too far into the basement. so we seal all exits and come back at night. he's hungry by then so we call him out with some food. over the next hour, i crawl in as far as i can, call him, let him eat, pet him, let him eat some more, then move the dish a couple inches. we get pretty darn far, but then he runs back into the crawlspace. finally eunice and i just sit there with the food near the doorway and keep calling him. he finally comes and i shut the door. he's starting to freak out, but we keep playing with him. finally, i just scoop him up, dump him in the laundry basket, and run upstairs.

buddy is home.

except then i had to take him to the vet and spend $130 on flea medication...

the end.

best meal ever

ok i have a lot of posts to catch up to; they're all in my drafts. but this one about today is easy to post:

went with jen to berkeley to feed the cat and pick up some stuff. we ate half a pizza at cheeseboard and then went to love at first bite cupcakery! jen of course got the coveted red velvet, plus one for joanne, but i couldn't resist the peanut butter devil's food cake. this was one of those meals that makes you take a nap with a smile on your face. yum-o.

my testimony

this semester in small group we've been sharing our testimonies. last week was my turn. here's the long version:

grew up believing in Christ. went to college and was exposed to this concept of social justice. or rather, social injustice. social justice minded IVCCF, invisible children, peace and conflict studies minor, sociology 1, and african american studies 139 showed me the faults of this world. and i became angry. by my sophmore year i was angry.

i have a fundamental belief that all people have the same value. whether it's the queen of england, you, me, or that hungry child on the cover of world vision catalogs, we are worth the same. but this world doesn't seem to recognize that. it is a place full of injustice, sorrow, unfairness, discrimination, hate, and instability. and it's not even the poorest, third world suffering i'm bitter about. what about those that grow up without a mother? those that seem to die for no good reason? how is it that we all have the same human value, yet this world does not treat us that way?

i'm not completely cynical; i am grateful and joyful for the life i live. but basically, you and i got lucky. we happened to have been born and raised with wonderful families, political stability, freedom, and affluence. we got lucky.

where is justice? how is it that we are meant to be equal, but live in a world that doesn't recognize it? that doesn't care? that cares more about status, power, money, looks, and lust?

from my anger came a realization: God. there is justice through God and the resurrection of his son. here is a being that loves us all the same. the SAME. he pours out love and grace despite all we have done and despite what this world has done to us. regardless of what the world has pigeon-holed us into, God sees us for who we are and completely LOVES us. ... that's amazing.

it makes sense to me. God created the world and said, "here you go!" but then we screwed it up until finally he said, "enough. let me save you." to believe that he has saved you brings justice and redemption and equality back. it puts everyone at the same level, a really really high level.

this may sound like a cop out to you--that i believe in a God because i need to see justice in this world. but in pure honesty, this is not a cop out. it just...makes perfect sense to me. believing in Christ, everything falls into place. once i came to this realization, that anger was replaced with a wave of peace. this is real to me. this makes sense.

i continued on my happy way, telling anyone who will listen about this wonderful God of mine. as it turns out, God may seem crystal clear to me, but for others this is much harder to believe. why is it that most of the people in my life are not Christian and don't even care? 2 long GiGs, 1 year, and many moments of "silent prayers" later, i'm sitting at chapter camp angry all over again. my friend starts telling me all these things about "trusting God" and "prayer" and "love" and "His great plan." i've heard these phrases my entire life and always believed it, but in that moment, i could only feel that it was all baloney. i was mad at God because He wasn't present in the lives of my friends. i kept asking, "where the heck are you? do you care, because all I get is silence."

then along comes Isaiah 58. i read this and it was like God just slapped me in the face with truth saying, "what are you doing? you are demanding that i make your friends believe what you believe? that's not what i'm about." i was letting the faith of my friends dictate whether or not i believed in God, when in fact, that was never the root of my faith. "remember why you believe in me. go feed the hungry and help the poor. 'Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.'"

some people see God as a God of love, or a God of grace, or a God of mercy. mine is a God of justice. the amazing thing is, that he is ALL of those.

my life as a christian is confusing and questions keep popping up. there are times when i wonder if this is even real. but i CHOOSE to continue to believe. that is what faith is after all--the choice to believe. and seriously, it has made my life, and every life for that matter, worth what it was originally. with God, all the broken pieces of this world are restored. it's not a cop out. it's just beautiful and real.

ok helen...

here's a blog that i don't use. but will use from now on. i realize that i do want to blog more for these reasons:

1. to remember my life when i'm old and gray
2. to share with you...and others if they ever find this haha
3. to externally process my thoughts

so here goes...